smut-101:

1. Abrasive – showing little concern for the feelings of others; harsh
   
2. Absurd – wildly unreasonable, illogical, or inappropriate
3. Accusatory – suggesting someone has done something wrong, complaining
4. Acerbic – sharp and forthright
5. Acidic – harsh or critical
   
6. Admiring – approving; think highly of; respectful; praising
7. Aggressive – hostile; determined; forceful; argumentative
8. Aggrieved –  angry and sad because you think you have been unfairly treated
9. Airy –  giving an impression of being unconcerned or not serious
10. Ambivalent – having mixed feelings; uncertain; in a dilemma; undecided
11. Amused – pleasantly; entertain or divert in an enjoyable or cheerful manner
12. Angry – incensed or enraged; threatening or menacing
13. Animated – full of life or excitement; lively; spirited; impassioned; vibrant
14. Anxious –  typically with a feeling of unease
15. Apathetic – showing little interest; lacking concern; indifferent; unemotional
16. Apologetic – full of regret; repentant; remorseful; acknowledging failure
17. Appreciative – grateful; thankful; showing pleasure; enthusiastic
18. Ardent – enthusiastic; passionate
19. Arrogant – pompous; disdainful; overbearing; condescending; vain; scoffing
20. Assertive – self-confident; strong-willed; authoritative; insistent
21. Authoritative – commanding and self-confident
22. Awestruck – amazed, filled with wonder/awe; reverential
23. Barbed – deliberately hurtful
24. Barking – utter a command or question abruptly or aggressively
25. Belligerent – hostile; aggressive; combatant
26. Benevolent – sympathetic; tolerant; generous; caring; well meaning
27. Bitter – angry; acrimonious; antagonistic; spiteful; nasty
28. Blasé – unimpressed or indifferent to something because one has experienced or seen it so often before
    
29. Bleak – without hope or encouragement; depressing; dreary
30. Bombastic – high-sounding but with little meaning; inflated
31. Booming – loud, deep, and resonant
32. Bored – to tire or make weary by being dull, repetitious, or uninteresting
33. Brash – self-assertive in a rude, noisy, or overbearing way
34. Braying – speak or laugh loudly and harshly
35. Breathy – producing or causing an audible sound of breathing, often related to physical exertion or strong feelings
36. Breezy – appearing relaxed, informal, and cheerily brisk
37. Brittle – lacking warmth, sensitivity, or compassion; aloof
38. Bubbly – full of cheerful high spirits
39. Burbling – speak in an unintelligible or silly way, typically at unnecessary length
40. Callous – cruel disregard; unfeeling; uncaring; indifferent; ruthless
41. Candid – truthful, straightforward; honest; unreserved
42. Caustic – making biting, corrosive comments; critical
43. Cautionary – gives warning; raises awareness; reminding
44. Celebratory – praising; pay tribute to; glorify; honour
45. Chatty – informal; lively; conversational; familiar
46. Cheery – happy and optimistic
47. Childish – silly and immature
48. Chirping – say something in a lively and cheerful way
49. Clipped – speech that is fast, that uses short sounds and few words, and that is often unfriendly or rude
50. Cloying – disgust or sicken (someone) with an excess of sweetness, richness, or sentiment
51. Coarse – rude, crude, or vulgar
52. Colloquial – familiar; everyday language; informal; colloquial; casual
53. Comic – humorous; witty; entertaining; diverting
54. Compassionate – sympathetic; empathetic; warm-hearted; tolerant; kind
55. Complex – having many varying characteristics; complicated
56. Compliant – agree or obey rules; acquiescent; flexible; submissive
57. Concerned – worried; anxious; apprehensive
58. Conciliatory – intended to placate or pacify; appeasing
59. Condescending – stooping to the level of one’s inferiors; patronising
60. Confused – unable to think clearly; bewildered; vague
61. Contemptuous – showing contempt; scornful; insolent; mocking
62. Crisp – briskly decisive and matter-of-fact, without hesitation or unnecessary detail
63. Critical – finding fault; disapproving; scathing; criticizing
64. Croaking – a characteristic deep hoarse sound
65. Cruel – causing pain and suffering; unkind; spiteful; severe
66. Curious – wanting to find out more; inquisitive; questioning
67. Curt – rudely brief
68. Cynical – scornful of motives/virtues of others; mocking; sneering
69. Defensive – defending a position; shielding; guarding; watchful
70. Defiant – obstinate; argumentative; defiant; contentious
71. Demeaning – disrespectful; undignified
72. Depressing – sad, melancholic; discouraging; pessimistic
73. Derisive – snide; sarcastic; mocking; dismissive; scornful
74. Detached – aloof; objective; unfeeling; distant
75. Dignified – serious; respectful; formal; proper
76. Diplomatic – tactful; subtle; sensitive; thoughtful
77. Disapproving – displeased; critical; condemnatory
78. Disheartening – discouraging; demoralising; undermining; depressing
79. Disparaging – dismissive; critical; scornful
80. Direct – straightforward; honest
81. Disappointed – discouraged; unhappy because something has gone wrong
82. Discordant – harsh and jarring because of a lack of harmony
83. Dispassionate – impartial; indifferent; unsentimental; cold; unsympathetic
84. Dispirited – having lost enthusiasm and hope; disheartened
    
85. Distressing – heart-breaking; sad; troubling
86. Docile – compliant; submissive; deferential; accommodating
87. Drawling – speak in a slow, lazy way with prolonged vowel sounds
88. Dulcet – sweet and soothing
89. Dull – lacking interest or excitement
90. Earnest – showing deep sincerity or feeling; serious
91. Egotistical – self-absorbed; selfish; conceited; boastful
92. Empathetic – understanding; kind; sensitive
93. Encouraging – optimistic; supportive
94. Enthusiastic – excited; energetic
95. Evasive – ambiguous; cryptic; unclear
96. Excited – emotionally aroused; stirred
97. Facetious – inappropriate; flippant
98. Farcical – ludicrous; absurd; mocking; humorous and highly improbable
99. Feathery – extremely light and soft or delicate
100. Flippant – superficial; glib; shallow; thoughtless; frivolous
101. Forceful – powerful; energetic; confident; assertive
102. Formal – respectful; stilted; factual; following accepted styles/rules
103. Frank – honest; direct; plain; matter-of-fact
104. Fretful – expressing distress or irritation
105. Frustrated – annoyed; discouraged
106. Gentle – kind; considerate; mild; soft
107. Ghoulish – delighting in the revolting or the loathsome
108. Glum – dejected; morose
109. Goofy – foolish; harmlessly eccentric
110. Grating – harsh and unpleasant
111. Gravelly – deep and rough-sounding
112. Grim – serious; gloomy; depressing; lacking humour;macabre
113. Growling – low grating voice, typically in a threatening manner
114. Gruff – rough and low in pitch
115. Gullible – naive; innocent; ignorant
116. Guttural – produced in the throat; harsh-sounding
117. Hard – unfeeling; hard-hearted; unyielding
118. Harsh – cruel or severe
119. Hearty – loudly vigorous and cheerful
120. Hoarse – sounding rough and harsh, typically as the result of a sore throat or of shouting
121. Honeyed – soothing, soft, and intended to please or flatter
122. Humble – deferential; modest
123. Humorous – amusing; entertaining; playful
124. Husky – sounding low-pitched and slightly hoarse
125. Hypercritical – unreasonably critical; hair splitting; nitpicking
126. Impartial – unbiased; neutral; objective
127. Impassioned – filled with emotion; ardent
128. Imploring – pleading; begging
129. Impressionable – trusting; child-like
130. Inane – silly; foolish; stupid; nonsensical
131. Incensed – enraged
132. Incredulous – disbelieving; unconvinced; questioning; suspicious
133. Indifferent – having no particular interest or sympathy; unconcerned
134. Indignant – annoyed; angry; dissatisfied
135. Informative – instructive; factual; educational
136. Insinuating – suggest or hint in an indirect and unpleasant way
137. Inspirational – encouraging; reassuring
138. Intense – earnest; passionate; concentrated; deeply felt
139. Intimate – familiar; informal; confidential; confessional
140. Ironic – the opposite of what is meant
141. Irreverent – lacking respect for things that are generally taken seriously
142. Jaded – bored; having had too much of the same thing; lack enthusiasm
143. Joyful – positive; optimistic; cheerful; elated
144. Jubilant – expressing great happiness and triumph
145. Judgmental – critical; finding fault; disparaging
146. Laudatory – praising; recommending
147. Lifeless – lacking vigor, vitality, or excitement
148. Light-Hearted – carefree; relaxed; chatty; humorous
149. Lively – full of life and energy; active and outgoing
150. Loving – affectionate; showing intense, deep concern
151. Macabre – gruesome; horrifying; frightening
152. Malicious – desiring to harm others or to see others suffer; ill-willed; spiteful
153. Matter-of-fact – unemotional and practical
154. Mean-Spirited – inconsiderate; unsympathetic
155. Mellifluous – sweet or musical; pleasant to hear
156. Melodious – pleasant-sounding
157. Mocking – scornful; ridiculing; making fun of someone
158. Monotonous – lacking in variation in tone or pitch
159. Mourning – grieving; lamenting; woeful
160. Muffled – not loud because of being obstructed in some way; muted
161. Naive – innocent; unsophisticated; immature
162. Narcissistic – self-admiring; selfish; boastful; self-pitying
163. Nasty – unpleasant; unkind; disagreeable; abusive
164. Negative – unhappy, pessimistic
165. Nonchalant – casually calm and relaxed; not displaying anxiety, interest, or enthusiasm
166. Nostalgic – thinking about the past; wishing for something from the past
167. Objective – without prejudice; without discrimination; fair; based on fact
168. Obsequious – overly obedient and/or submissive; fawning; grovelling
169. Oily – unpleasantly smooth and ingratiating
170. Optimistic – hopeful; cheerful
171. Outraged – angered and resentful; furious; extremely angered
172. Outspoken – frank; candid; spoken without reserv
173. Pathetic – expressing pity, sympathy, tenderness
174. Patronizing – condescending; scornful; pompous
175. Pensive – reflective; introspective; philosophical; contemplative
176. Persuasive – convincing; eloquent; influential; plausible
177. Pessimistic – seeing the negative side of things
178. Philosophical – theoretical; analytical; rational; logical
179. Piping – high-pitched.
180. Playful – full of fun and good spirits; humorous; jesting
181. Pragmatic – realistic; sensible
182. Pretentious – affected; artificial; grandiose; rhetorical; flashy
183. Quavering – shake or tremble in speaking, typically through nervousness or emotion
184. Querulous – complaining in a petulant or whining manner
185. Rasping – harsh-sounding and unpleasant; grating
186. Reedy – high and thin in tone
187. Refined –  elegant; cultured
188. Regretful – apologetic; remorseful
189. Resentful – aggrieved; offended; displeased; bitter
190. Resigned – accepting; unhappy
191. Restrained – controlled; quiet; unemotional
192. Reverent – showing deep respect and esteem
193. Righteous – morally right and just; guiltless; pious; god-fearing
194. Robust – strong and healthy; vigorous
195. Saccharine –
     
     excessively sweet or sentimental

196. Satirical – making fun to show a weakness; ridiculing; derisive
197. Sarcastic – scornful; mocking; ridiculing
198. Scathing – critical; stinging; unsparing; harsh
199. Scornful – expressing contempt or derision; scathing; dismissive
200. Scratchy –
     
     rough; grating

201. Sensationalist – provocative; inaccurate; distasteful
202. Sentimental – thinking about feelings, especially when remembering the past
203. Shrill –

     high-pitched and piercing

204. Silvery –
     
     gentle, clear, and melodious

205. Sincere – honest; truthful; earnest
206. Skeptical – disbelieving; unconvinced; doubting
207. Smarmy – 

     excessively or unctuously flattering; ingratiating; servile

208. Smoky –
     
     a raspy, coarse and tone of quality that is deeper than usual
209. Snide –
     
     derogatory or mocking in an indirect way

210. Solemn – not funny; in earnest; serious
211. Somber –
     
     oppressively solemn or sober in mood; grave

212. Sonorous –

     imposingly deep and full

213. Sour – resentment, disappointment, or anger
214. Steely – coldly determined; hard

215. Strident –

     loud and harsh; grating

216. Stony –
     
     not having or showing feeling or sympathy

217. Suave –
     
     charming, confident, and elegant
218. Subjective – prejudiced; biased
219. Submissive – compliant; passive; accommodating; obedient
220. Sulking – bad-tempered; grumpy; resentful; sullen
221. Surly –

     bad-tempered and unfriendly

222. Sympathetic – compassionate; understanding of how someone feels
223. Thoughtful – reflective; serious; absorbed
224. Throaty –

     deep and rasping

225. Tolerant – open-minded; charitable; patient; sympathetic; lenient
226. Tragic – disastrous; calamitous
227. Tremulous –

     shaking or quivering slightly

228. Unassuming – modest; self-effacing; restrained
229. Unctuous –
     
     excessive piousness or moralistic fervor, especially in an affected manner; excessively smooth, suave, or smug

230. Uneasy – worried; uncomfortable; edgy; nervous
231. Urgent – insistent; saying something must be done soon
232. Velvety – soft; smooth
233. Vindictive – vengeful; spiteful; bitter; unforgiving
234. Virtuous – lawful; righteous; moral; upstanding
235. Whimsical – quaint; playful; mischievous; offbeat
236. Witty – clever; quick-witted; entertaining
237. Wonder – awe-struck; admiring; fascinating
238. World-Weary – bored; cynical; tired
239. Worried – anxious; stressed; fearful
240. Wretched – miserable; despairing; sorrowful; distressed

redrikki:

futureevilscientist:

biologyweeps:

katistrophe:

mcubed35:

taylor-tut:

So listen up y’all, nothing drives me crazier as both a writer and a scientist than seeing alien diseases that make no fuckin’ sense in a human body. 

If you’re talking about alien diseases in a non-human character, you can ignore all this.

But as far as alien diseases in humans go, please remember:

DISEASE SYMPTOMS ARE AN IMMUNE RESPONSE.

Fever? A response to help your immune cells function faster and more efficiently to destroy invaders.

Sore/scratchy throat? An immune response. Diseases that latch onto the epithelium of the throat (the common cold, the flu) replicate there, and your body is like “uh no fuckin’ thanks” and starts to slough off those cells in order to stop the replication of new virus in its tracks. So when it feels like your throat is dying? guess what it literally is. And the white spots you see with more severe bacterial infections are pus accumulation, which is basically dead white blood cells, and the pus is a nice and disgusting way of getting that shit outta here.

(No one really knows why soreness and malaise happens, but some scientists guess that it’s a byproduct of immune response, and others suspect that it’s your body’s way of telling you to take it easy)

headache? usually sinus pressure (or dehydration, which isn’t an immune response but causes headaches by reducing blood volume and causing a general ruckus in your body, can be an unfortunate side effect of a fever) caused by mucous which is an immune response to flush that nasty viral shit outta your face.

Rashes? an inflammatory response. Your lymphocytes see a thing they don’t like and they’re like “hEY NOW” and release a bunch of chemicals that tell the cells that are supposed to kill it to come do that. Those chemicals cause inflammation, which causes redness, heat, and swelling. They itch because histamine is a bitch.

fatigue? your body is doing a lot–give it a break!

here is a fact:

during the Spanish 1918 Plague, a very strange age group succumbed to the illness. The very young and very old were fine, but people who were seemingly healthy and in the prime of life (young adults) did not survive. This is because that virus triggered an immune response called a cytokine storm, which basically killed everything in sight and caused horrific symptoms like tissue death, vasodilation and bleeding–basically a MASSIVE inflammatory response that lead to organ damage and death. Those with the strongest immune systems took the worst beating by their own immune responses, while those with weaker immune systems were fine.

So when you’re thinking of an alien disease, think through the immune response.

Where does this virus attack? Look up viruses that also attack there and understand what the immune system would do about it. 

Understand symptoms that usually travel together–joint pain and fever, for example.

So please, please: no purple and green spotted diseases. No diseases that cause glamorous fainting spells and nothing else. No mystical eye-color/hair-color changing diseases. If you want these things to happen, use magic or some shit or alien physiology, but when it’s humans, it doesn’t make any fuckin’ sense. 

This has been a rant and I apologize for that. 

As a microbiologist, I think the main advice here is to take into account real diseases and conditions before you make up a fictional disease or condition.

Some bacteria have physical effects on the body that cause symptoms (EHEC varitype of E. coli ruptures cells at the site of infection, which is usually the large intestine, hence, you have bloody stools from it). If your alien or “made-up” bacteria or virus causes a certain symptom, find a real bacteria or virus that causes the same symptom. They need to behave in a similar fashion and have similar physical traits. Bacteria and viruses do not evolve functions because they’re cool. They evolve them because they’re useful.

There are also dietary issues, medications and chronic diseases that cause physical changes–copper toxicity can cause an orange ring around the iris, an eyelash lengthening “medicine” causes darkening and/or color change of the iris, hemochromatosis (sometimes known as “Bronze Diabetes”) causes darkening of the skin etc. If you want to use this sort of thing, again, find something real that causes it and work through things logically. 

Play your cards right, do your research and you will have hordes of readers in the scientific and/or biological community cheering, screaming and crying because they love your work.

@biologyweeps, this feels up your speculative alley – anything to add?

Ohhh.

I’d like to add that the same goes for parasitic infections, more or less. If you want a certain trait for a diseases, cross reference with existing parasites to see what’s happening, and also make sure you check what happens if you put a parasite in a host it’s not meant for. We can sensibly assume that alien parasites that encounter a human would be ‘wtf’ and potentially cause complications that would never happen in the native species. Maybe in the native species it causes a cold like reaction at worst, but in a human the parasites may attempt to nest in a totally different tissue. Maybe that causes widespread tissue damage by the parasite itself as it tries to borrow in? Again, check existing cases to see what horrific things could happen.

While we’re on it, also check how your disease is communicated. One of the things that annoy me so much with zombie movies is that ‘biting’ is supposed to be a very effective way to spread it. It’s not. Anything that requires such intimate contact is actually kind of hard to communicate. Airborne things? Now there we are at potential ‘oh shit’ territory. So if you want your disease to sweep the country/planet/ship, pick something that’s easily communicable. 

Also consider the incubation period. How long until someone shows symptoms? Are they already infectious to other people before showing symptoms or still after they stopped? As mentioned above, illness symptoms are in most part immune responses and the immune system needs time to get up and run. Give it that time.

And while we’re at it… there are symptoms that aren’t immune responses. For example the cramps that accompany tetanus are caused by a toxin the bacterium produces that damages/destroys nerve cells. Viruses can cause tissue damage when they insert in cells, replicate in there and destroy the cell on exit. Think of how HIV can wreak havoc on the human immune system by killing of a specific kind of cell. Depending on where your viruses likes to replicate it can massively impact the look of it. Something that destroys liver cells will look different (and if survived may come with different long term damage) than something that prefers skin or muscle cells. If it’s alien also consider how it might behave differently in its original host. 

Fantastic post, I can relate to OP 100%. More points:

Nothing makes me groan harder than a made-up plague which gives anyone X diseases within seconds to MINUTES. I’m looking at you, most zombie movies. And if your alien/synthetic/sci-fi pathogen is at all like a virus (read: no metabolism of its own, just genetic material of some kind which it uses to reprogram host cells), then the rate at which it mupltiplies is limited to what normal human cells can do. Now, viruses can multiply pretty damn fast. But give you symptoms within MINUTES? Nope.

So long as we’re on the subject of epidemiology, and speed:

 "Oh no, patient died less than a day after being infected! We’re all doomed!“ Wrong. While that SOUNDS scary, a plague that kills that quickly would not actually be that dangerous, and would be unlikely to have evolved to begin with. A disease needs to pass itself on to at least one other person, on average, before it kills its host, or it’s doomed to extinction. Any virus that kills its host before it has a decent chance of being passed on will basically quarantine itself. (Of course, you CAN do this if you handwave its origins as being made in a lab or whatever, just know it won’t realistically pose a truly terrifying threat on a population level.)

Mmore ideas for a realistically scary made-up plague:

– Long incubation period (say, a couple of weeks), making quarantine much more difficult, disruptive to everyday life, and unlikely to succeed.

– Infectious period != symptomatic period, i.e. someone can spread the disease before they appear sick. (Note: if this condition is met, then dying very rapidly after *manifesting symptoms* becomes plausible again, more plausible than dying quickly after being infected.)

– The possibility or relative prevalence of healthy carriers – think Typhoid Mary. I.e. rare people who skip the symptoms part entirely but are still infectious.

– The disease is transmitted through an animal that is hard to keep out, the definition of “hard to keep out” would depend on the setting here. Poor water sanitation means waterborne bacteria and microscopic parasites would be a huge danger. Insect or arachnid (e.g. tick) bites could be a danger in almost any setting..

– As an alternative to above point: the bacterial/viral/parasite/whatever can form spores that are fucking EVERYWHERE. (Read: the reason for both tetanus and botulinum poisoning.)

– The pathogen is both dangerous and impossible to fully exterminate through vaccination because it has a huge population of reservoir hosts. (Reservoir hosts are entire SPECIES that can carry and propagate the disease without being affected much by it.) Same way the Black Plague is still out there because a shitton of rodent species passively carry it.

And many more things if you do some research for inspiration! Pathogens are scary, fascinating things, and I really wish we had more realistic fictional representation of them than “virus which causes zombie behaviour in 3 seconds flat” (looking at you, 28 Days Later) and “virus which can MIND-CONTROL people who view the main carrier through a COMPUTER SCREEN” (wtf???) (looking at you, Jessica Jones).

@scriptmedic might this interest you as well?

holyfuckabear:

asforetold:

Favourite narrative tropes:

• “That was ONE time!”
• “Due to an administrative error”, or any major plot point which is caused almost entirely by bureaucratic fuckups
• “Contrary to popular belief” appended to something that’s either really obvious or completely subjective
• A character makes an assertion, then cut to the narrator contradicting it (‘“Everything’s fine!” Everything was not fine.’)
• First-person narrators who call a specific character by a series of increasingly convoluted nicknames
• Unusual narrative euphemisms. I still hold that describing around a curse word is almost always funnier than just using the word.
• Establishing character moments which subvert your expectations right from the get-go. The best example is in the Brooklyn Nine Nine pilot, where Jake’s fooling around at the crime scene before revealing that he’s already solved the case.
• Montages. Just montages of any kind, for any reason, anytime. I actually think they work better in text form because you can do so many creative things with them.
• Side characters with a level of fourth-wall awareness / quasi-supernatural ability which is never quite certain, like the janitor in Scrubs.
• Double meanings in narration that take a while to make themselves clear.
• Really, really specific similes.

So you’re a huge fan of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy then?

fraenkysjunk:

more wholesome friendship arcs, less unnecessary forced romances

pyotr-kirillovich-bezukhov:

squiddleprincess:

From now on I will only accept love triangles if they end in:

1. Polyamory
2. The main character rejecting both love interests and staying single
3. The two love interests giving up on the main character because how hard is it to make a damn choice?

4. The two love interests realizing they love each other more than the main character and the main character getting together with someone that wasn’t even part of the triangle proper.

hudders-and-hiddles:

librarylock:

Hey writers! Everyone has their own style and yours is great. Some people’s writing is lush and descriptive and emotional, others are sparse and sleek and powerful, and others still are fast-paced and immediate and visceral. They all have their merits. No style is better than another. It’s all fine.

And! Not all of your pieces have to be one particular style either. Just because your last work was meandering or slow or heavy doesn’t mean your next can’t be sharp or quick or light. Don’t beat yourself up because you aren’t doing what you did in the last thing you wrote. That was a different piece, required a different mood. Do what works for you. Do what works for this story. Don’t worry about what others do or what you’ve done before.