Here you go friend @saratogaroad
Just a little more. Just a little further. There had to be more here. There were figures on the horizon—but then,
there were always figures on the horizon. The word for that had evaded his mind
for hours, and had only come rushing back when he had collapsed at the side of
the river he had been following for days now.Mirages.
—
There was something familiar about the arms that had carried Hedwyn from the mud
where he had fallen, exhausted and hungry, and to the side of a hesitant,
sputtering little campfire. Something he realised he had missed sorely.
The gentle, but confident hands bandaging his knees. Not with soft, clean cotton,
as it had been last time (how many years ago?), but from scraps of cloth ripped
from her cloak, the rough material doing very little to make the pain any
better.“Tch. At least a decade on, and I’m still picking you up and wiping your tears
away.”At the sound of her voice, Hedwyn forced his eyes open. Even with her curled
horns and massive form, she was impossible not to recognise, even if her voice
hadn’t sent waves of nostalgia and comfort rocketing through him.Jodariel gazed at him with something he had never seen in her before—wet eyes.
Eyes big and leaking with a sort of heartbroken joy that was over-the-moon that
he was here with her again, but crushed that he was here, and not in the Commonwealth, safe and happy, where he was
supposed to be.
He hugged her. What else could he have done?—
Jodi and Hedwyn hugged until they had begun to laugh, and then laughed until
the reality of their situation began to set in and they were sobbing. They
clutched each other, pausing only to put some more wood on the fire.“What are you doing here, silly boy?” she had asked. Her voice was deeper than
before. He tried not to stare at the horns either side of her head as he wiped
his tears away and answered.“Will you believe me if I say I missed you too much?”
“No.” she smiled despite herself. “What’s the real reason, Hedwyn? You were far
too smart to end up here. What did you do?”He ran a hand over his face, reaching for her hands again. She took his own in
hers, her hands larger than he remembered. They’d always been bigger than his—he
was just a kid when she took him in—but now he was an adult, and they were
still bigger. She was bigger.“I loved the wrong person, Mama Jodi.”
She didn’t flinch at his old nickname for her. She merely tilted her head,
gently inquiring for more detail. He gave a shuddering breath, knowing that of
all people to tell about his failure, Jodariel was one he had hoped would never
have to listen. Not because he was ashamed—he would never be ashamed of loving
his Fikari. No, because he dreaded what she would say.“Who did you love, Hedwyn?”
She had noticed his pause. He took a deep breath, another shaky breath that was
unrelated to his previous exhaustion or the stress of finding Jodariel again.“She… I met her when I was… We were both…” he stopped, shaking his head, “I
loved a Harp, Mama Jodi. Fikari.”Jodariel went quiet, even though she was hardly speaking as was. There was a
noticeable tightening of her hands around his, and he got the distinct
impression she was counting to ten, and then to twenty, and then to thirty and
still struggling to keep her composure.“She wasn’t like the others, Jodi, she was—”
“She was still a Harp, Hedwyn. They killed your parents. They’ve killed
hundreds—no, thousands of our people. Why would you think them capable of
anything but evil?”Her voice was cold, and he let her drop his hands as she stood to poke at the
fire with a long stick. His stomach twisted—what had he been expecting? What
had he hoped she would say? Why hadn’t he prepared anything for this?
The answer made him wince;
Because you never thought she’d still be
alive down here, after all this time.The thought made him feel ashamed. Of all people to survive down here, it wasn’t
exactly surprising that he would find Captain Jodariel. There were stories
about her, weren’t there? Of course she would find a way to survive in an environment
most thought brutally impossible to live within.“The errors of her people are not the errors of Fikari.”
She looked up at him, eyes searching him silently. Huffing, she turned back to
the fire, squaring her shoulders.
“I brought you up smarter than that, Hedwyn. I brought you up to read people by
their actions, didn’t I? I brought you up to care for those in need.”“You brought me up to love people for who they are inside, and Fikari is as
beautiful inside as any human. You brought me up to care for those in need,
yes, and we needed each other. Each of us had suffered in this war.”
She flinched at his tone, the louder volume of his argument making her
shoulders stiffening further. Hedwyn looked carefully at her horns—did she
still see herself as human? Did she still believe in the same things as before?
Surely she would understand—“And that is why they exiled you. For—for fraternising,” she
said eventually, breaking through his reverie, “But even that is not a crime
worthy of exile down here. If that is what they sent you down here for, then
the Commonwealth has become even more brutal in the time I have been gone.”“…No, Jodi. There’s… There’s more.”
Hedwyn swallowed, hesitant to reveal the rest.
She didn’t even look at him this time, although the long
sigh that caused the fire to flicker nervously made him sure that she had heard
him.“I… I wanted to see her. I left my post, and then—then they attacked, and a
squad… A whole squad was killed. Because I left my post.”She turned this time, stalking towards him. She towered over him, blocking out
the light of the fire as he tried not to scramble away in fear. Even when he’d
misbehaved as a child, she had never frightened him. The only thing that had
frightened him about her when he was a child was the fear that she too would leave
and not come back, just like his
parents.“Military desertion. Oh, Hedwyn.”
She spent a long time staring at him, as if trying to figure him out as some
kind of huge puzzle. They stayed like that for a long time, regarding each
other, before Jodariel straightened and went to sit by the fire once more.
“Silly, silly boy…” she breathed, shaking her head, “To throw it all away…”“There’s one good side though, Mama Jodi,” he hesitantly called as he moved
closer to her, “I got to see you again, didn’t I?”Jodariel went quiet again at this, before her mouth quirked up, and she reached
for him with one arm, picking him up with ease. He yelped, half startled and half
indignant at the treatment. She tousled his hair, hugging him to her chest
again and putting him down gently.
“And I got to see that I can still pick you up with one arm,” she replied, the
cold gone from her voice, “Oh, Hedwyn. I missed you.”“I missed you too, Mama Jodi.”
—
When they found Rukey, it was together. The Downside was better—happier, maybe,
with someone else by your side, and with the Cur it was practically like
family. Rukey had quickly learned that to discuss Hedwyn’s exile with Jodariel
around was to risk her stalking away to patrol the perimeter for the third time
in an evening, and when Hedwyn finally did tell him the full story, Rukey had
already decided that to see Jodariel enraged was dangerous, and he was damned
lucky he’d not had the misfortune to be part of their merry group back then.The Downside wasn’t so bad, Hedwyn had decided.
Not with Jodi. Not with Rukey. Not with the two of them.
so that was perfect and you’re perfect and thank you friend for the feels I did not need just getting off shift oh my gosh these three and Mama Jodi and aaaaaaahhhhh!!!!
saratogaroad 